My first love huh?
If you’re talking about a passion, that’d be music and singing. Like I said before, been part of my life since I was 5.
If you’re talking about a person, let’s call him “The Rock” (it’s his fav wrestler). And he knows already and so do my best friends.
I met him when I was in grade 10, and pretty much fell for him when we started talking. And then I found out he was in a relationship and kinda tried to put my feelings on the back burner. He became one of my best friends and I was there for him as much as I could be whenever he needed someone.
As hard as I tried to not crush on him, I still did. (My friends can attest to that). He was sweet, funny, sarcastic, athletic, handsome as hell, liked the same things I did. There’s more to that list, but I don’t need you falling for him too ;) lmao He was just plain amazing to me.
Anyways, fast forward and there were a lot of ups and downs. Kinda like a bad roller coaster (or just a normal roller coaster in my case since I don’t like them lol). Things got tough for me just kinda sitting on the sidelines and then having these kinda flirty moments.
I really don’t wanna get into big details so from this, I’ll just speed to this past year.
I found out he has been in love with me, and honestly… I had no clue. He’s not the best at showing emotions (he admits it). So I flabbergasted and also extremely happy when he told me. It’s like that person you’ve been wanting finally wants you.. and has been wanting you too, but wouldn’t say anything. Not gonna lie, it was both amazing and frustrating. The way he told me was the most beautiful thing I had ever heard.
Anywhozers, things were good for a bit and then we started getting in these fights and stuff went to shit really fast and horribly. No one has ever made me feel in love with them and made me cry so much at the same time. I know you’re thinking well that’s not good. But it’s complicated - and that’s not a cop-out.
And still is.
This may sound silly, but we never dated, and I dunno if we ever will.
I dunno if we’ll ever go back to “normal” whatever our normal is.
Things got SOOO messed up, I feel like I’m in limbo.
We haven’t spoken in a while so, yeah.
That’s the long, yet short (surprisingly, yes that is a short version) of my first love.
If you were to ask me if I miss him, I’d be lying if I said no.
He’s made a pretty big impact on my life - good and bad.
This wasn’t easy for me to do…at all.
Well that’s it I guess.