Playing With Telemarketers
I was at home the other night in the middle of my dinner when the phone rang.
ME:
Hello.
AT&T:
Hello, this is AT&T.
ME:
Is this AT&T.
AT&T:
Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME:
This is AT&T.
AT&T:
Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME:
Is this AT&T.?
AT&T:
Yes! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron, please?
ME:
May I ask who is calling?
AT&T:
This is AT&T.
ME:
OK, hold on.
At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that, surely, this person would have hung up the phone. I ate my salad. Much to my surprise, when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.
ME:
Hello?
AT&T:
Is this Mr. Byron?
ME:
May I ask who is calling, please?
AT&T:
Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME:
This is AT&T?
AT&T:
Yes, this is AT&T ...
ME:
The phone company.
AT&T:
Yes, sir.
ME:
I thought you said this was AT&T.
AT&T:
Yes, sir, we are a phone company.
ME:
I already have a phone.
AT&T:
We aren't selling phones today, Mr. Byron. We would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
ME:
Now, that's 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day?
AT&T:
(getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes, sir, that's right! 24 hours a day!
ME:
7 days a week.?
AT&T:
That's right.
ME:
365 days a year.?
AT&T:
Yes, sir.
ME:
I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!
AT&T:
We think so!
ME:
That's quite a sum of money!
AT&T:
Yes, sir, it's amazing how it adds up.
ME:
OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at the end of the year for the full $52,560; and if you send an annual check, can I get a cash advance?
AT&T:
Excuse me?
ME:
You know, the 10 cents a minute.
AT&T:
What are you talking about?
ME:
You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making payment.
AT&T:
Oh, no, sir. I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a minute.
ME:
Wait a minute, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10 cents a minute, that I'll give YOU 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the Enquirer, you know.
AT&T:
No, sir, we are offering 10 cents a minute for
ME:
THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please?
AT&T:
Sir, I don't think that is necessary.
ME:
I insist on speaking to a supervisor!
AT&T:
Yes, Mr. Byron. Please hold.
At this point, I begin trying to finish my dinner.
SUPERVISOR:
Mr. Byron?
ME:
Yeah.
SUPERVISOR:
I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a minute program.
ME:
Is This A T &T?
SUPERVISOR:
Yes, sir, it sure is.
ME:
(I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to suppress my laughter and I had to be Careful not to produce a snort.) No, actually, I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that I could sign up for the plan.
SUPERVISOR:
Ok, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was helping you.
ME:
Thank you.
I was on hold once again and managed a few more mouthfuls. I need to end this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at the other end of the phone.
AT&T:
Hello, Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up for our plan.?
ME:
No, but I was wondering - do you have that "Friends and Family"
thing because I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little brother...
AT&T:
click........
Yeah.
(Source: beautifulphrasesbr)
If Harry Potter and Voldemort had a child it'd totally look like Arthur.
Why I smile so much. (read if you wish/will)
Whenever people see me there’s almost ALWAYS a smile on my face. Why? Because I’m grateful for the life I have and the people in it.
When I’m on the bus or walking around anywhere, I smile at people I don’t even know or say “hi,” and you know what… it doesn’t feel creepy to me because I just think it’s polite and you never know whose day you’re making. And it’s not like strangers just walk past me, they smile and say “hi” too … and really, a lot of the times they talk to me first because of one smile.
I know people who just ignore strangers on purpose when they say “hi” and just look at me instead, and it makes me angry and, in a way, a bit disgusted because it’s not like they’re saying anything offensive; they are just greeting you. In those cases, I say “hi” to them for them because that’s just kinda rude.
To be honest, I don’t think I have gone a day in my life with out smiling.. so multiply 365 by 17 …whatever that I’ve been smiling and I’m not gonna stop.
If there are things that make me happy, I’m gonna smile; if there are things that make me sad, I’m gonna smile.. maybe not right away, but there will come a time.
As much as I may have problems in my life that people who just look at me or talk to me don’t know about, I know that times will get better even if I deny that.
So smile.
I have people that love me, a roof over my head, the ability to sing, an education.. the list goes on, but the point is… what do I have to frown about?
This is why I smile.
Yes, to shelter my real feelings, to uplift others, to be courteous, to be me.
That. is why I smile.
(Source: beautifulphrasesbr)
(Source: beautifulphrasesbr)
When on a laptop:
And this shows up:
And you’re like:
But then a couple minutes later this shows up:
And you run to get your charger like:
(Source: , via wowfunniestposts)
